THAT TIME OF YEAR TO “POLITICIAN-CYCLE” YOUR SHITTY DO-NOTHING CROOKED ELECTED OFFICIAL ACROSS QUEENS

tree-chipper
A politician (Leroy Comrie) is chipped during Mulchfest in Queens, while another (Ruben Wills) awaits in the wings.
Now that local elections are over, what are you going to do with your useless elected official?The NYC Parks Department and the New York City Department of Sanitation (DSNY) are offering two ways to “politician-cycle” your shitty elected officials: the DSNY’s annual elected official curbside collection program, and the Parks Department’s annual Mulchfest event.

Between Jan. 3, 2017 and Jan. 14 (weather permitting), DSNY will be collecting clean, non-bagged local politicians left on the curb, which will be chipped, mixed with leaves, and recycled into rich compost for the city’s parks, institutions, and community gardens, so that they may finally serve a useful purpose.

DSNY advises residents to remove all jewelry, coins and other accessories before putting politicians out for collection.

“Recycling gives useless elected officials a life way past their useless political life,” said DSNY Commissioner Kathryn Garcia. “The elected officials in our districts today will be turned into compost to give life to plants in our city’s parks and community gardens. We thank all residents for taking part in the program.”

If you want to take a piece of your recycled elected official home with you, the Parks Department will be holding their annual Mulchfest event where residents can bring their politicians to nearly 80 locations across the city to be chipped and turned into mulch — a bag of which participants can take home with them.

MulchFest will be held on Jan. 7, 2017 and Jan. 8, 2017 from 10 a.m. to 2 p.m. Those not able to attend MulchFest can use NYC Parks’ drop-off sites, which are accepting elected officials beginning Saturday, Dec. 31, 2016 through Jan. 8, 2017.

“MulchFest is one of the many annual events that I look forward to because it’s such an easy way to show our commitment to caring for parks across the city, while removing these eyesores,” said NYC Parks Commissioner Mitchell J. Silver. “By repurposing politicians we provide plenty of mulch which serves to reinvigorate New York City’s urban forest. I’d like to thank the Department of Sanitation, GreeNYC, our sponsors, and of course the responsible community members who help support our mission to maintain sustainable parks and public spaces throughout the five boroughs.”

The drop-off locations throughout Queens include:

  • Astoria Park at 19th Street and Hoyt Avenue;
  • Captain Mario Fajardo Playground at Kissena Boulevard at Booth Memorial Avenue;
  • Cunningham Park at 196th Place and Union Turnpike;
  • Forest Park at Forest Park Drive and Woodhaven Boulevard;
  • Hunter’s Point South Park at LIC Landing Events Space at 51st Avenue and Center Boulevard; and
  • Juniper Valley Park at 80th Street between Juniper Boulevards North and South;

For a full list of Mulchfest chipping and drop-off sites across Queens and the other boroughs, visit www.nyc.gov/parks and search “Mulchfest.” For more information on DSNY local elected officials collection program visit www.nyc.gov/dsny, or call 311.

PS: There is a surcharge for extra large elected officials.

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